I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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