its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
