What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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