Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
