loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
tonight lets celebrate not being married
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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