I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Come on in and take your pants off
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