She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
