you would pick up someone in the library
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
