Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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