ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
