it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
