Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
