Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
