she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
