he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
