I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
