i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
