i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
