Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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