She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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