I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
