I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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