So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
