No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You need a sexual gate keeper
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
