CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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