Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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