yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
