I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
