Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
