I could make wine with my vomit
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
