No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Watching her eat just hurts me
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
