4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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