He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
