It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
