he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
