so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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