Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
