Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
