Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
