Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
