Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
