please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
