your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
