she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
