I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the day after is always just damage control
This is the prime rib incident all over again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
