You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
