i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
