if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
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