I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
