Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Shame - the story of my life.
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