I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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