What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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