You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
